By Christopher Rusk, LSW, LCADC, Manager, Recovery and Wellness Unit
Substance use disorder affects not only the person who is struggling but also every member of the family. Family support for someone seeking treatment for a substance use disorder can be a source of strength, love, and persistence. Support throughout the treatment process and during the loved one’s recovery is a powerful, important role a family can play.
Every family is unique, but most families share a bond that can be used to support one another during difficult times. As a family member, your support can be key to getting your loved one the treatment they need. A healthy support system can also help a person achieve and maintain sobriety.
What You Can Do
Talking is often the first step you can do to provide family support to a person affected by too much drinking or drug use:
- Choose an appropriate time and place to talk, with little distractions.
- Express your concerns and be direct. Ask how they are feeling and explain your reasons for concern.
- Show compassion and try these words: ‘I’ve been worried about you.’ ‘Can we talk, and if not who would you be comfortable speaking with?’ ‘You don’t seem like yourself lately. How can I help?’
- Listen to them and acknowledge their feelings.
- Discuss your own family history of drug and alcohol use, if appropriate. It may help them to feel less alone.
- Ask what they need and offer to find help; explain that treatment works.
- Be patient and continue to reach out if they are not ready to seek treatment right away. It takes great strength to open up about one’s challenges, so it may take several conversations.
- Hold your loved one accountable during treatment, set healthy boundaries, and be there when they need to talk.
Support Throughout the Recovery Process
After your loved one has been discharged from withdrawal treatment or another program, your continued support can make a significant difference. Participating in sober activities together is a great way to rebuild trust, strengthen your connection, and encourage a healthy lifestyle. In early recovery, it’s important to focus on activities that are low-stress, enjoyable, and supportive of sobriety. Examples include outdoor pursuits like hiking or walking, creative outlets such as art classes or cooking together, physical activities like yoga or sports, and community involvement through volunteering, spiritual services, or attending local events.
Supporting a loved one’s treatment and recovery can feel challenging, so don’t forget to take care of yourself. You will be better equipped to assist them physically and emotionally when you:
- Practice self-care. Spend time with your friends and other family members. Exercise, practice proper sleep hygiene, eat nutritious meals, and use mindfulness to reduce stress.
- Trust the professionals. Let them handle your loved one’s issues and allow them to create an effective treatment and recovery plan.
- Seek therapy for yourself, or attend family support groups.
- Go to family counseling if needed. These sessions will help you establish healthier communications and a supportive home environment. Counseling that includes both the person in treatment and family members can improve treatment effectiveness.
- Be honest. Take extra time if you need it to focus on yourself and your needs.
- Set boundaries with your loved one. Give yourself time to heal so you are better able to support your family member.
Remember, you cannot control the outcome of your family member’s treatment. Be optimistic but realistic throughout the recovery process, and provide the level of support that makes you and them comfortable.
If your family member chooses to enter a withdrawal management program (also known as detoxification), Valley Health System's Recovery and Wellness Unit on Valley's Ridgewood campus offers comprehensive compassionate withdrawal management services for alcohol, opioid, and benzodiazepine use disorders. Withdrawal management helps individuals navigate the acute withdrawal phase of treatment, while also addressing any medical or psychological complications that may arise. Withdrawal management is an essential first step in the journey toward recovery from substance use or addiction.
For more information, call 201-612-4949.
If you are in crisis, text or call 988.
To learn more about family support in addiction recovery, visit samhsa.gov/families.
